One out of every two marriages ends in divorce. This suggests that most of us probably have a family member or friend who divorced or someone who has been. Similarly, there might be individuals at your church or workplace who experienced divorce. We hope that the statistic was different but this is the reality about marital separation.
Death and divorce compared
Divorce is similar to the death of a loved one. The death of a family member comes with grief and so is the annulment of a relationship. While grief is associated with both marital dissolution and death, the difference between the two is that death has a ceremony of closure while divorce does not. Family members and friends often come together to celebrate the life of their loved one in a memorial service. Conversely, people who have divorced are often ostracized by friends and family members.
Divorce and grief
Dealing with the loss of a spouse as a result of marital dissolution is just as impacting as losing a spouse through death. While this is not a post about the rightness or wrongness of divorce, it illustrates individuals who divorced need time to grieve the loss of their relationships. “Every loss demands that we choose life again. We need to grieve in order to do this. The pain we have not grieved over will always stand between us and life” (Rachel Naomi Remen, 2000). People need to realize that grief is a journey (Working Through Grief, 2005) and not a one stop destination.
Strategies to help you cope
Four ways to help you grieve are: write a letter, journal, talk about it, and attend a grief support group. People who experienced the death of a loved need lots of support and encouragement, and there is no difference with those who divorced.
