Mothers and COVID-19: Mothering through the Mask

What an amazing and interesting time to be mothers! A time when the laundry machine is running, the kids are at school in the kitchen, work emails are coming at you like bullets, the news is confusing, and Zoom codes, Facebook Live and webinars are demanding that you tune in. The entire world is under lockdown in an effort to flatten the COVID-19 curve and overnight your space of serenity is a grinding mill with all kinds of unrealistic expectations.

Many would agree that this is discombobulating because there has never been a time like the present. There are mothers on the frontlines providing medical and mental health care, food, security, spiritual and emotional care, mail services, and other needed services. Others are without jobs as they try to figure out how to make ends meet to feed and care for their household. Mothers, may I dare say that if you are not careful during these times, the events surrounding COVID-19 could be the last straw to pound you into insanity.

Mothers, now more than ever is the time to care for your body, mind, and spirit. I know it is very tempting to want to be everything to your family while attending to the demands of life. This mindset and way of doing things is intemperate and you must be intentional about balancing your life so that you can live your best. I hope the following suggestions may inspire you to do a deep reflection as you continue to find innovative ways to care for yourself during your season of mothering.

Raise your level of expectation for help

I know that mothers are built to care and for the most part will work until the “cows come home” without asking or requiring any help from those in their homes. I must say this is unhealthy. With the new demands that the COVID-19 pandemic has placed on your family life, you might find yourself doing a string of activities without breaks. How can you raise your level of expectation for help from other family members? The short answer would be to delegate. Look at all there is to do and the time that you need it accomplished and then try to make use of all hands. This would be a good time to put a schedule or structure in place, assign persons in your home to different duties, and trust them to take care of their chores.

Also, let your family know your schedule too so that you can get more support. For instance, instead of getting up in the wee hours of the morning to do your hair or late at night when everyone is sleeping and you are tired, just inform your family that you will need a particular day to do your hair. When the day comes to do your hair, let the other family members know that you have to take care of yourself and it will not always be a convenient time for everyone.

Remember to disconnect

There is a constant drive to stay connected via technology but we must examine our lives and be determined to disconnect when we need to. I am sure that you would have noticed that more persons than usual are online. This means that there will be more information shared, more people messaging you on various platforms, more emails to check and respond to, more news updates, more Facebook Live, more YouTube videos, more posts, more Zoom meetings to attend and the list goes on and on. Every single individual or entity who is serious about staying visible and connected is trying to secure online presence. I remember that before the pandemic my Facebook timeline would remain the same with little to no updates for a few hours. Now during the pandemic my timeline has constant updates with new information that often disrupts what I was trying to read!

To add to the chaos, not only are all university classes online but also Pre-k to 12 graders are online. This has undeniably brought a lot of confusion to homeschooling and probably shattered the hopes of many who entertained the thought of homeschooling. Let me assure you that in the truest sense of what it means to be homeschooled, this is not homeschooling and that is for another discussion.

Mothers, during this pandemic, you need to find a way to communicate with your child’s teachers, which may sound hilarious since you are now the “teacher.” As you do so, make sure you come up with strategies that will prevent your child from technology overuse as they seek to do online schooling. Remember minimizing screen time is important for all ages. If possible, choose a specific time during the day to work on school assignments and respond to emails and so on. Do not yield to the temptation of simultaneously working online all day and constantly listening to the news while doing the myriads of other things you do in your home because it may lead to burnout. In doing so, you will be frustrated and angry and this could lead to other things.

Relax in nature

Stepping out in nature is medicine for the mind, body and spirit. In fact, the absorption of all the healing properties of the natural environment is compatible with our intelligent design. Feeling the wind on your face, soaking up sunshine and touching the earth should send a sudden rush of calm, peace and joy down your spine. The early morning fresh air works wonders on my mind and fresh air works well anytime for that matter and can help to stabilize your mood. Even a crying baby who refuses to be comforted on the mother’s lap is soothed as soon as you take that baby outside for fresh air. So take some time to unwind by simply stepping outside of your house.

Now is a good time to start a little garden or play treasure hunt outside with the kids. Children are generally creative and can make much out of playing with leaves and dirt and you can enjoy being right in that mix. Do a task outside that you usually do inside and just relax in nature because now more than ever the perusal of nature’s outdoor remedy is extremely vital.

Reenergize your body with intentional movement

I know that you might think you have enough on your plate and taking time out to exercise is not even an option at this time. In fact, you might even be thinking you are already moving with all the household chores that you accomplish daily. However, I would strongly encourage mothers to get away from the hustle and bustle and the stress that comes with COVID-19 and do intentional exercise even if it is just a brisk walk. In fact, you can walk at home. A friend of mine introduced me to a “Walk at Home Video” on YouTube that I found entertaining and useful. Exercise is one of the laws of health that releases feel good hormones such as endorphins in your body and serves to activate the white blood cells that boost your immune system.

Refresh yourself with time for you

If there is ever a time you need to do something for you it is during these physically and emotionally challenging times. Pick up that devotional book that has been lying dormant. Spend some time in prayer and meditation. Stop to reflect on God’s grace and allow Him to pour into your soul. Listen to some relaxing music. Lengthen your showers when possible and try to avoid unhurried showers as much as you can.

Another thing that is good for calming is making the effort to take regular deep breaths. Inhale through your nostrils and hold for about three to four seconds then exhale through your mouth for another three to four seconds. Allocate time to Journal. Journaling can be therapeutic as it helps to release stress, and captures the events and mindset you had during these times. It can serve as a reflecting tool that can influence ideas and examine growth and perspectives.

Devote some time to your favorite comedies, funny memes and articles, which are ways to release endorphins. Spend time with books that will sharpen your skills and support the goals you have for yourself. Refresh yourself before bed with positive thoughts.

Relish time with your family

Take pleasure in spending quality time with your family because in the grand scale of things no matter how long this season last we know that it will not last forever. So pause in the chaos and take time to look on the charming faces of your children. Enjoy the company of your spouse and think good thoughts towards him. Be grateful for every day that you get to see each other. Emphasize kindness in the home as you lead an exemplary life. Plan time to just be in each other’s company and shut out the beckoning world. Pray and sing together.

Do board games, paper games, nature games and other fun activities together. Prepare new meals together, eat together and watch a movie together. Google ideas if you are out of ideas or ask others to share with you what they have been doing. During these times it is so easy for everyone to be on their own devices. However, continue to charm your way into each other’s heart.  Additionally, insist on setting aside time to calm down together because united your home will stand (Mark 3:25).

Mothers since fear, trauma and grief are at an all time high, now is the time to guard your overall health and wellbeing. Therefore, as you try to grapple with your new way of functioning with the masks and sanitizers of COVID-19, please make yourself a priority as you do your best to care for your family, communicate with relatives and friends, and stay on top of your work.