I am always so excited to just go through the door with my three children. There is so much to see and do as soon as our heels hit the ground. On the contrary, I never seek to carry devices as a parent to keep my children entertained. I have seen on countless occasions where parents become overwhelmed with life and allow their children to constantly stare at a device they carry from home. I completely understand that there are moments when parents just need to focus on the task at hand instead of trying to control a rambunctious child. However, if constant entertainment is the new parenting style, then our next generation is in for big trouble!
The research has already begun to scream at us. In fact, I was listening to a local radio station and there was a short promotion to encourage parents to read to their children and spend quality time with them as device-free alternatives. The host was terrified to report that there is a fear that children’s vocabulary are not being adequately developed, along with concerns about anti-social behaviors being fostered in children who are constantly hooked to their devices.
In the book Toxic Childhood, Sue Palmer advocates for children in our now world and reminds and informs parents that especially for the age we are living in with all the technology at our fingertips, children need parental wisdom and guidance now more than ever and if your kids are constantly on devices they need to be “detoxed.”
By no means am I implying that parents who have children on a gadget in a car or at a grocery store or anywhere else for that matter means that that’s how they always do things. However, be honest with yourself for a moment and take a step back and examine how much time your child or children have being spending with their devices overall. Next, take a tally, you may realize it’s time to unhook your kids!
A fish that is caught on a hook will not be able to remove itself so easily and so think of children on their devices in a similar way. Unless, they have parents or guardians who are intentional about monitoring their use then, like the fish, this will be worse than a nightmare in the long run! The constant use of devices is negatively impacting a child’s ability to focus, sit quietly, process information in a calm manner and as a result mental health issues in children have skyrocketed. Children’s minds need device-free time for creativity and imagination as well as protection from mental fatigue. Brain and eye development are crucial throughout childhood so it’s important to put
limits on devices.
Prepare your children for the transition
Instead of having children locked into their devices as parents when they are out and about, you can help your children have meaningful interactions outside. The thought of leaving devices at home might be scary for some parents or guardians. However, the more you do it, the more peaceful the experience will get.
Any new step that a family decides to take will need preparation and clear communication. Let your children and whoever else will be traveling with you, know that it will be a device-free trip. In place of the technology, you could carry along a soft toy, coloring books, sing-along songs, kids’ friendly audio books and so on. If your trip is to the nearest grocery store or post office, then everyone can just enjoy the ride and open their mind to this new encounter. Here are some tips that will help.
Encourage your children to observe their environment
Encourage your children to observe their environment. It is good practice to look around you because you might notice something good or not so good. Now might be a good time to learn the route, and observe traffic signs, interesting buildings, or vehicles. Children learn a lot through paying attention to something that interests them. You can take this opportunity to answer questions that they might have or clear up any confusion about things they are seeing or hearing. There are so many shapes and real-life opportunities that they might find exciting. Even though it can be annoying when the road workers disrupt traffic, I find that passing these worksites can be quite entertaining. There are usually new machines on display, the workers diligently doing their job, or even the challenge of finding a new route to your destination.
Allow your children to participate in grocery shopping
If you are in the grocery store, read the sign in the aisle, see if the children can figure out where you bought the flour the last time. Encourage them to look at the shelves not just the ones with cereals or chips. In fact, the less familiar they are with refined foods the better their overall health will be, but that is for a different topic. Children can help with grocery choices and remind you of what’s needed at home, read from the shopping list, and read ingredients or at least see how groceries are selected.
You can also have them help select the best-looking fruit or other groceries and teach them why you decided to buy a particular brand of food item. They can also help to estimate the total cost of groceries. In other stores, they can help pick out colors or household items and so on. You can discuss whether you think it is a good choice. Challenge them to remember prices of certain items for the next time so that they can decide if it is a good price or a sale deal.
Teach your children social skills
Children are always observing our behaviors so this might be a good time to show them how to behave in a restaurant. Instead of all the adults having their phones while the children stare on their iPad, it would be nice to greet each other and have good conversations over food. Children can observe proper table manners and just relax in the presence of good company. You can also engage them in conversation about their favorite foods, places to eat, or just how nice it is to have them at the table. You can have them tell the server their meal of choice or they can just observe your interactions. Some restaurants usually have paper and crayons to occupy little hands while waiting on the food. This can also be helpful when in your transition stage.
In other settings like church or visiting family or friends, they can observe how you greet other people or other children with a smile. Our world can be tough at times, and someone may just need a smile. A smile goes a long way, not to labor the point, but do you remember the little girl who inherited millions from a man just because of a smile? Always, remember to follow protocols and avoid falling into the habit of having your child constantly walking with a device.
Parents have fun with your children
Going out with kids can be fun! The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:1, that there is a season and time for everything. Let’s admit it, time is short and that means childhood is short. We get to be children once. Therefore, it is our duty as parents to ensure to the best of our abilities that we guide children in the right way.
Children are naturally loving and tender-hearted and depend on us to direct their little steps. Let’s have fun with them and not allow devices to steal our time. So, getting outside can call for some fun and creativity. Challenge them to keep a tally of the number of times they hear or see certain things such as colors, animals or trees. Make a guess of how many people might be standing in a certain aisle versus other sections of the store. See who can stay quiet the longest before bursting out a laugh!
Conclusion
Although the activities listed depend on age, we can still interact at every stage and age with children appropriately while capturing teachable moments. Some kids go in and out of stores with their heads down and looking intently at the screens of their little devices and for all I know someone else other than their parents could just push the cart away and many would not even notice. Engaging children in meaningful ways is healthy and in turn yields happy kids and less stressed parents. Therefore, you should encourage your children to share in family moments even if it is going to the grocery store. Parents, unhooking your kids from devices can bring great freedom, peace, and good mental health to your family.
Otencia Robinson, M.Sc. Counseling, C0-Founder of Family On Point, LLC
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